So many ppl r waiting for me, i cant wait(?) to get back to Singapore! i know ive been saying alot of times but im still gonna say it, i miss home! e feeling of hiding under e blanket, crying to myself most of e nights is painful. there r many things, which i could only kept within myself, be silent n live w it. God knows what..

to think my time ahead has already been 'booked', even before i get back to spore really do makes me ponder y am i getting so 'busy'? whats e purpose(s) of all e dates? r all necessary? did i really spend my time wisely? what do i gain out of it? can i better spend my time doing something else? perhaps i should reflect more on this, push away n be selective of dates, better spend my time n surely to make time for myself. 1 more thing, i'd better be of my Father's business.

there r so much more to life than just bgr! say im tough, yes i am. thats bcos i know what i want n im not easily shaken. im firm on my stand, im staying focus. not another tom, dick or harry i would want as bf. not another puppy love, not another crush i would entertain. its not that my expectations r high, not that im fussy, not that im too arrogant. but its abt another heart i will break, not. this alone is enough to explain all to y ive been so 'tough' to get, thats all im concern. guys, u can say im stubborn for not even wanting to give it a try, a start. u can say im too fearful, too faithless, too worrisome, thinking too far ahead for a rship etc. say anything u want, i simply dont care. my minds clear, i know what im doing. n again, i know what i want.

im not saying im not bothered, but not too bothered to whether i will get attached one day? perhaps i think i still have time. but 1 thing i do, i chose to put my faith n trust in Him. no hurry, He has His best timing for me.

songs i would still listen
places i would still go
smiles i would still wear
all, i would still reminisce

i would still cry
i would still feel e pain, so real within
but..
i'd be fine, one day.

cheers.