I remember e things that i pray n i say to You;

how much i want to take ppl for granted not..
how much i want to love them unconditionally like You do..
how much i dont want to grieve You any farther..
how much i want to grow in You..
not for ppl to see, but for You to know;
to know e desperation in me to be like You..
not just e thought of wanting it,
but also e act of wanting.
but i failed, n i fail again..
round n round i go..
a vicious cycle i cant seem to get out..
cos i have yet to make e decision;
e decision to be firm, to be focused, to be ruthless to my flesh..
let e stubborness in me do me good..
gives me e holy tenacity n e holy discipline..
n hardenness not!
let e spirit gets stronger n e flesh weaker.
20-years..
no more time to waste..
no more mindless spending..
good steward of God, i want to be.
step by step..
precept upon precept..
let me grow from faith to faith, glory to glory..
in Jesus name,
Amen.